just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
