you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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