Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize