I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
