well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
