He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
