If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
