Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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