Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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