Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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