Small penises have feelings too.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
