and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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