Buhtt sex?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
