he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
