I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
