Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Bring me that man meat
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
