I wish I only lived at night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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