Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There's always time for handjobs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is classic penis vs brain.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
