My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
