I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
