I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
