I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize