do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
