I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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