Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
