Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
