One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
