Quick, to the slutcave!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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