seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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