Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
