how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
