four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
