i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
