We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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