My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
