i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
