I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
did you just send me my own nude
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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