What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
