My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
