Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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