anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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