We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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