Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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