She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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