I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
