End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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