So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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