What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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