how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Man, jail baloney is awful.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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