I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
