oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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