My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
