...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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