What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
