i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
